How Not to Smell Like a Music Festival

“Katie, yikes.” “Tommy, agh.” You two smell like a music festival. And I don’t mean like some chick’s perfume. You reek of cigarettes in the worst way. You better take a shower and change your clothes. Why do you always come home like this? Hours of sitting next to a smoker will do it, ma. “It is even in your hair.” “Get back.” Ok, we agreed to the shower. No problem. We had a great time at the McKrells concert and didn’t care a lick that people were smoking all around. Yeah, it got in the tent, too. We can get it out. We have some secret ways – strange but true home methods from Listen up if you have this problem.

While listening to the great Celtic music, we were oblivious to what was happing in the vicinity. People were drinking sodas or beer, and most had snacks galore. If you want to know what really smells, sit next to someone with a garlic sausage.

Off go the clothes into the wash. The tent is outside airing out. We will hose it down tomorrow. Meanwhile the fresh air does its job. As for the clothes, they need washing in soap mixed with a tinge of eucalyptus oil. It has a pleasant smell and dissipates in the dryer. I prefer it to the scented sheets you can buy that have too much of a perfume odor. The same goes for Febreze and similar deodorizing products. It is eucalyptus all the way. I can also recommend lavender if you enjoy this flower. The plant and floral oils are very concentrated and you don’t need much. If you goof, just run the rinse cycle a second time.

Another secret treatment is lemon mist. You mix it with water in a spray bottle and go to town. It has a fresh smell that is very pleasing on clothing. Lemon, lavender, or eucalyptus—take your pick. Maybe you have a unique way of ridding clothing (and a tent) of smoke odor. Let me know because I am not going to stop attending concerts or visiting my family after to impart the news about the fun we had. I know they like Celtic music and Katie and I always want to share. We are not pleased to get kicked out before dinner.

My mother approves of my smoke solution and says I should bottle it. Why bother. It is easy to make at home. There isn’t really a recipe. What is nice about home remedies is that they work, don’t harm any fabric, and last a long time. The big plus is that there are no toxic chemicals like the ones that come with store-bought products. You can mix up a batch of your preferred scent and don’t even need preservatives. It will last for a while if you keep it in a dark closet. This is my advice for the day.